tears shed and falls upon my faulty mood

guys .. i'm sorry .. it aint gonna be a post which will make u guys laugh ..

i thought i could solve anyone's problems including mine .. but i was wrong .. 

if u guys are in a foul mood .. it's best that u better not read it .. 

i'll post something that will cheer u up some other time ..

i'd like to say sorry to kareema , suman , hui min , videsh , thomas , eugene , jess and to those who updates themselves.. really appreciate ur support.. 

(stating ur names this way izzin discriminating u guys .. it's random )

having a dull day .. not just today , but almost everyday for the past few days ..

to generalize it so it won't just be about myself , life for some people are tough at times ..

 taking criticisms or mayb firing from others will not hurt you physically but emotionally..

to those who can withstand or tolerate such , i take my hats off ..

i've been tolerating for almost all my life .. 

i think i'm at the verge of stabbing myself to death .. but no .. i won't ..

i'll continue helping those who are in need of my help .. 

cheering you up would be the greatest achievement and satisfaction ..

 life as it is .. 

i admit ..

it's difficult ..

but we as human.. have the ability to take control of almost everything ..

i find that both our mind and heart , really are connected ..

when one's hurt emotionally ..

he or she would not be thinking straight..

i'm not sure about u guys .. but whenever i'm hurt .. i can't really express myself ..

it felt like the whole world's pressing down onto me ..

my heart felt compressed..

my shoulders felt burdened ..

i felt like screaming .. but couldn't do so ..

i felt like throwing something .. but couldn't bring myself to do so .. 

what is it that's making it so difficult to let it all out ??

hope that you don't find me boastful , but .. 

i've helped many ..

they felt lighter and happier .. they seem to be free and able to continue their life..

it's either they're just pretending or i really helped them ..

i felt happy for them.. satisfied.. asking nothing but their smile and laughter..

but yet , i can't even solve my own problem .. 

maybe life is as it seems..

 nothing to complain about anyway ..

 i need a hug badly .. how i wish someone could just give me a warm hug and tell me that everything's gonna be alright..

as tears continue falling ..

heart continues bleeding ..

how i wish i could just have someone to accompany me for the night ..

waits for me to shut my eyes .. smiles .. .... i'm speechless ..

to those crazy ppl who thinks i'm a maniac or a jerk or whatsoever u guys call me .. for example a pervert or a casanova .. i hope that u guys would try to know me more and understand me more before calling me names .. i have no one to talk to and i have no gf to accompany me .. i know u guys or girls have ur own bf or gf .. but please .. stop.. i had enough ..

this post is not posted because of those people who called me names (it's just an additional message)

i have other problems .. and it lead me to this .. sry for making u guys emo .. now i know why u guys said that blogs are to express ur feelings .. feeling a little better .. thanks ..

*forgive me for my bad grammar and vocab .. i'm not sure what's wrong with me*

=END!chaoz~=